Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Dear Lord......Please Can We Erase,Delete,Backspace Yesterday...???




Yesterday was a little exciting..to say the least...

This is an account of what happened to me..

I was cleaning up the house when I noticed Minki sniffing and running around the house...this was a serious sniffing...her nose was jiggling up and down the floor taking in great big gulps of very exciting scent...very,very fresh too...I glanced out the kitchen window and saw Cules busy welding something and was just about to call him and show him what Minki was doing and then thought better of it as it was the first day of work after the Christmas holidays and he was busy sorting out the farm labourers etc..I got our permanent worker and his wife to help me finish up the painting job on the house' windows we had started before Christmas and after about ten minutes or so I decided to go check on my e-mail as I was expecting a message from someone and as I sat down by the laptop in the kitchen, I noticed Minki was still excitedly sniffing about but by now she was sniffing around the kitchen cabinets..I smiled and called her a silly pup for getting so excited by the smell of a mouse....

The next second all hell broke loose...

What happened next had been my worst fear come true in the two years since I have owned Minki.....

She pulled a ten metre Spitting cobra out of  one of my cast iron pots....

Ok,so maybe it was more like eight metres long....

Okay,okay, Cules said it was one and a half meters long...

I don't ever want to lose my puppy due to a snakebite...
I am scared *hitleessss of snakes...!

Minki threw the snake into the middle of the kitchen..,I heard a very far- off primitive screaming...the screaming wouldn't stop...I realised it was me screaming...the noise still wouldn't stop.....

Minki doesn't like it when I scream,she new I was screaming because of the big bad snake in the kitchen..
She went at it again,the serpent was now sailing all over the kitchen floor..
I jumped up from my chair behind the laptop trying to get away to go call my husband..save my puppy...
The chair fell flat down on the floor behind me...Minki grabbed the snake by it's tail and shook it and tossed it up,up into the air...it fell on me,..I stepped over backwards and fell over the chair..the snake was slithering over my legs and Minki was on top of us....I could still hear that unearthly screaming going on...I could FEEL my blood beating through my veins,I could HEAR my own heart beating...

I scrambled up and ran outside to go get my husband..I could still hear that screaming,my husband was gone..he had left minutes before to go get sawdust for the stables...the farm labourer and his wife had run off when I started screaming...I ran back inside the house to go try and get my precious Minki who must have been bitten by the snake a zillion times by now...I entered the kitchen from the other side to avoid the fight going on under the dining table,only to find the fight had moved back to the other side of the kitchen and once again I found myself slap bang in the middle of it! Minki charged at me with the serpent securely in her mouth wanting to show of her trophy to me so badly ...I was still hearing that screaming going on...I turned and ran..I realised I was getting myself trapped in the corner of the kitchen with the snake and dog..all I could think of to buy myself some time was to tip over my kitchen table with a million Rands' worth of spices, herbs,coffee and an open 5kg bag of sugar that I was going to put into containers...

By this time the kitchen floor was absolutely covered in snake blood,intestines,gore and spit....

I knew I had to now  GET OUT OF THERE!!!

I was slipping and sliding on the blood and gore and sugar and dried chilies and things but I was making headway...I was getting out...Minki followed with the snake still in her mouth...

As I ran out the back door,driven by sheer terror,the labourer and his wife had returned to help me and the wife had stepped inside the door with a broom in her hands 'cause she figured out it must be only a snake that can make the white lady scream so much..As she stepped inside the house, I ran slap bang into her, she thought the devil was in the house and turned to run also and fell over her husband,they both fell down onto the patio and I ground my heels into their bodies trying to find enough traction to get away from the dog and snake even faster...

In such situations,speed is very important...

Minki put the snake down on the patio..it was now either dead or playing dead as cobras are notorious for doing...She was absolutely covered in blood and gore,she had bitten the snake nearly in half....The farm labourer thought he was going to take the snake away and get rid of it..only...Minki wasn't giving away her prize...this was when I remembered her last encounter with a cobra when it spat in her eyes and her eyes was swollen shut and weeping for almost a week....She got retaliation and there was no way she was  giving up her prize...there was only one person on that farm yesterday that could take the snake away from her...Mommy.

I got Minki washed and cleaned her eyes out and checked her over for snake bites,Cules' phone was off,he was in a no signal area,I left a panicked message...

I managed to grab Minki and washed her, I realised that her eyes seemed to be fine as the last time a cobra spat at her the burning started instantly..

One spot on her side that was particularly bloodied caught my eyes as a possible bite site and I clipped it...no bite marks...my phone rang...it was Cules wanting to know what happened..,he told me to calm down an check her breathing, was it irregular?....a short pause from my side ,yes she wants her snake back!....Was she having heart palpitations?.....another short pause...yes! She wants her snake back!

Picture this,you are sitting on a blood and gore plastered kitchen floor trying to hold down a Jack Russel with the killing mood still over her and a electric clipper in the other hand and a phone stuck to your ear with the shoulder and having to try to establish whether your doggy is dying of snakebite...

...In comes the farm labourer's wife and all she can do is whistle and say..

Hau....

...All that sugar.....

Tsk,Tsk!

Never mind the overturned chair and table,blood and gore covered kitchen....

No doubt she could think of better things to do with sugar than spilling it out all over the floor,just because of a silly snake!

20 minutes later, things have calmed down a bit,the dog was fine,the kitchen cleaned up I had spoken to Cules on the phone and confirmed that Minki was all right.

The farm labourer's wife and I was finishing up the window job when my husbands' presence filled the door, and I thought my chivalrous husband would take me in his arms and comfort me a bit after all that terror I had gone through all on my own....


"What's for supper?" He says....

The African lady collapsed on the floor in a stupor of giggles and then ran out the house...



The End



P.S My throat hurts....






25 comments:

  1. What a lot of excitement I can understand why you would want to delete the whole thing yikes.
    Poor baby he did get his revenge, thats a jack russel for you.

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  2. HOLY COW!!! What a day. Glad everyone is all right.

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  3. Oh my god! I would have died of a heart attack! Glad everyone is okay!

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  4. Good dog!!!

    Our Jack is a fine snaker, too.

    So glad this tale had a happy ending.

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  5. Oh my goodness. That is way too much excitement! Glad everyone but the snake is safe.

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  6. What a day that was!! I am so glad both you and Minki are alright. How in the world did that snake end up in one of your pots!! Think you should put your house on stilts.

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  7. she's a tough one, that minki! i am glad she managed to avoid being bit! she's like my louise! small and tough and fearless, and sometimes it works in her favor, sometimes not.

    glad all is well! except for the sugar and spices!

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  8. OMG how scary. I would have been screaming too. As long as you are both ok.
    You have a brave wee dog there.

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  9. Hi Liesl .. I think I too would have had a heart attack .. not at all funny ...

    You have told the tale well - rather too well for my mind! I don't like snakes either .. and a spitting cobra - yugh ..

    What a typical funny ending .. I can imagine your African worker .. saying just that -

    Very traumatic for you - but an excellent story!

    Happy New Year .. well better than yesterday! Cheers Hilary

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  10. I could NEVER live where I would find a Cobra in my pans!!! What a nightmare!!! I could hardly stand to read this (I hate snakes) and then toward the end it got a bit funny! God bless your sweet dog and I am so glad he or you were not hurt. The shock of it all would have killed me! ;D

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  11. What a story! I am very glad that it ended well. Had to have been a real mess. What a dog!

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  12. I can't believe Minki accomplished killing that snake without getting bit! I would have been screaming bloody murder too. I'm sure the snake was 8m. There was only a little bit left of him by the time Cules saw it right?

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  13. OMG, I would have had a coronary! I'm so happy all is well now! What a story! Poor little Minki, so courageous, good dog!

    Nancy

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  14. ROTFLMAO! You have outdone yourself Liesl. This is now the BEXT blog post I have ever read. But - still - how DO you survive there?

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  15. Liesl ~ OMG. You're Jack Russell life sounds like mine. What a story. I wanted to shunt my eyes. I hate snakes. I could just feel the anxiety. My little gracie has thrown a snake up like that attack and it's just crazy running and screaming here to. So glad everything turned out good. It could have been really bad; a cobra; oh my!

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  16. I'll never look at a Jack Russell the same again! Liesl, you better take care!! I never know what to expect here! lol

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  17. OH MY GOODNESS! What a thing to have happen. I am glad it turned out alright.

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  18. OMG!!! What a post...you had me on the edge of my seat..lol! I can laugh now, that I know all is okay, but when I first started reading...*shaking my head*! Well anywho...so happy all is okay! Hugs!

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  19. What a scary experience for you and so glad you are okay. What an exciting story though. I told my boys and they just loved it and as usual with your stories, they needed to play at being the snake and your Minki! My mother's dogs have had encounters with cobras when they were living in Zambia and had the spit in the eye tactic to deal with. Growing up in Zim, I remember we had a phython which had its nest deep under the flooring under our bath tub. When we ran the bath we could hear the snake hissing contentedly enjoying the warmth! That same phython enjoyed our chickens very much too. Happy New Year to you, Liesl!

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  20. Oh wow, I am so glad you and Minki came out of all that lot intact. We often had snakes in the house when we lived in Zimbabwe, but the cats always warned us and we never had the drama that you have just experienced. Very scary. I have to admit though our walls looked a bit like a war zone, my husband would always shoot them through a window from the outside!! Diane

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  21. My dear friend Hilary Melton-Butcher just emailed me a link to your story. She said that she read a comment of mine on a blog that I'd had a bad week. But my problems aren't material for a lively story like yours! Yours is filled with VERY vivid details, and I just LOVE the ending. As for snakes...I live in Virginia (USA). Occasionally my daughter will find a snake in her country house, not a cobra; water snakes, I think. I've never seen a snake except in a zoo. I think I would have been screaming too if I had been in YOUR shoes!

    So happy Hilary sent me over here to meet you. I've signed on as a follower so I can read more of your interesting stories. I can't travel because I have a disabled daughter to take care of, so I "travel" vicariously through blogs such as yours!!
    Ann Best, Author of In the Mirror & Other Memoirs

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  22. Hi Liesl .. so pleased Ann enjoyed the story .. and it must have been fun for her to read to Jen.

    I again read your story to about 8 people - Nursing Residents yesterday ... and they thoroughly enjoyed it - and said how, as Ann says, VIVID. Reading it I felt that way too - I was cowering and ducking but not quite diving ..

    Cheers .. Hilary

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  23. Wow! What an amazing story! Could picture the whole thing vividly

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  24. I am choking between laughter and terror reading this and my heart is racing! My word - ek sou my vol bedinges het - for sure!

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