Dear Lord......Please Can We Erase,Delete,Backspace Yesterday...???

Yesterday was a little exciting..to say the least...

This is an account of what happened to me..

I was cleaning up the house when I noticed Minki sniffing and running around the house...this was a serious sniffing...her nose was jiggling up and down the floor taking in great big gulps of very exciting scent...very,very fresh too...I glanced out the kitchen window and saw Cules busy welding something and was just about to call him and show him what Minki was doing and then thought better of it as it was the first day of work after the Christmas holidays and he was busy sorting out the farm labourers etc..I got our permanent worker and his wife to help me finish up the painting job on the house' windows we had started before Christmas and after about ten minutes or so I decided to go check on my e-mail as I was expecting a message from someone and as I sat down by the laptop in the kitchen, I noticed Minki was still excitedly sniffing about but by now she was sniffing around the kitchen cabinets..I smiled and called her a silly pup for getting so excited by the smell of a mouse....

The next second all hell broke loose...

What happened next had been my worst fear come true in the two years since I have owned Minki.....

She pulled a ten metre Spitting cobra out of  one of my cast iron pots....

Ok,so maybe it was more like eight metres long....

Okay,okay, Cules said it was one and a half meters long...

I don't ever want to lose my puppy due to a snakebite...

I am scared *hitleessss of snakes...!

Minki threw the snake into the middle of the kitchen..,I heard a very far- off primitive screaming...the screaming wouldn't stop...I realised it was me screaming...the noise still wouldn't stop.....

Minki doesn't like it when I scream,she new I was screaming because of the big bad snake in the kitchen..

She went at it again,the serpent was now sailing all over the kitchen floor..

I jumped up from my chair behind the laptop trying to get away to go call my husband..save my puppy...

The chair fell flat down on the floor behind me...Minki grabbed the snake by it's tail and shook it and tossed it up,up into the air...it fell on me,..I stepped over backwards and fell over the chair..the snake was slithering over my legs and Minki was on top of us....I could still hear that unearthly screaming going on...I could FEEL my blood beating through my veins,I could HEAR my own heart beating...

I scrambled up and ran outside to go get my husband..I could still hear that screaming,my husband was gone..he had left minutes before to go get sawdust for the stables...the farm labourer and his wife had run off when I started screaming...I ran back inside the house to go try and get my precious Minki who must have been bitten by the snake a zillion times by now...I entered the kitchen from the other side to avoid the fight going on under the dining table,only to find the fight had moved back to the other side of the kitchen and once again I found myself slap bang in the middle of it! Minki charged at me with the serpent securely in her mouth wanting to show of her trophy to me so badly ...I was still hearing that screaming going on...I turned and ran..I realised I was getting myself trapped in the corner of the kitchen with the snake and dog..all I could think of to buy myself some time was to tip over my kitchen table with a million Rands' worth of spices, herbs,coffee and an open 5kg bag of sugar that I was going to put into containers...

By this time the kitchen floor was absolutely covered in snake blood,intestines,gore and spit....

I knew I had to now  GET OUT OF THERE!!!

I was slipping and sliding on the blood and gore and sugar and dried chilies and things but I was making headway...I was getting out...Minki followed with the snake still in her mouth...

As I ran out the back door,driven by sheer terror,the labourer and his wife had returned to help me and the wife had stepped inside the door with a broom in her hands 'cause she figured out it must be only a snake that can make the white lady scream so much..As she stepped inside the house, I ran slap bang into her, she thought the devil was in the house and turned to run also and fell over her husband,they both fell down onto the patio and I ground my heels into their bodies trying to find enough traction to get away from the dog and snake even faster...

In such situations,speed is very important...

Minki put the snake down on the patio..it was now either dead or playing dead as cobras are notorious for doing...She was absolutely covered in blood and gore,she had bitten the snake nearly in half....The farm labourer thought he was going to take the snake away and get rid of it..only...Minki wasn't giving away her prize...this was when I remembered her last encounter with a cobra when it spat in her eyes and her eyes was swollen shut and weeping for almost a week....She got retaliation and there was no way she was  giving up her prize...there was only one person on that farm yesterday that could take the snake away from her...Mommy.

I got Minki washed and cleaned her eyes out and checked her over for snake bites,Cules' phone was off,he was in a no signal area,I left a panicked message...

I managed to grab Minki and washed her, I realised that her eyes seemed to be fine as the last time a cobra spat at her the burning started instantly..

One spot on her side that was particularly bloodied caught my eyes as a possible bite site and I clipped it...no bite marks...my phone rang...it was Cules wanting to know what happened..,he told me to calm down an check her breathing, was it irregular?....a short pause from my side ,yes she wants her snake back!....Was she having heart palpitations?.....another short pause...yes! She wants her snake back!

Picture this,you are sitting on a blood and gore plastered kitchen floor trying to hold down a Jack Russel with the killing mood still over her and a electric clipper in the other hand and a phone stuck to your ear with the shoulder and having to try to establish whether your doggy is dying of snakebite...

...In comes the farm labourer's wife and all she can do is whistle and say..

Hau....

...All that sugar.....

Tsk,Tsk!

Never mind the overturned chair and table,blood and gore covered kitchen....

No doubt she could think of better things to do with sugar than spilling it out all over the floor,just because of a silly snake!

20 minutes later, things have calmed down a bit,the dog was fine,the kitchen cleaned up I had spoken to Cules on the phone and confirmed that Minki was all right.

The farm labourer's wife and I was finishing up the window job when my husbands' presence filled the door, and I thought my chivalrous husband would take me in his arms and comfort me a bit after all that terror I had gone through all on my own....

"What's for supper?" He says....

The African lady collapsed on the floor in a stupor of giggles and then ran out the house...

The End

P.S My throat hurts....